Today’s Headline: Bush Calls Obama With Plan To Save Economy
Newly-appointed President Obama received a phone call late Thursday night from ex-President George W. Bush with news that he had found a solution to the massive economic problems plaguing the country. According to a White House aide, Bush told Obama he was contacted via e-mail by a Nigerian prince who needed to hide his fortune from invading rebels before he escaped his country. Asking the ex-president to help him hide $60,000,000 in his bank account, the deposed prince would supposedly “makeit worth his! WHILE,” promising Bush half of his fortune, made up mostly of rare Nigerian jewels. Eager to fix the recession his policies helped cause, Bush quickly e-mailed the prince all of his bank account information, also attaching a picture of his dog, Barney, to cheer him up. President Obama reportedly broke the news to Bush, who was squealing with excitement, that not only was he the victim of a widely-known internet scam, but the amount of money promised to him would not begin to repair the damages his administration had caused over the past eight years. Not understanding him, Bush went on to tell Obama about a product he purchased online that guarantees an increase in the length and girth of the ex-president’s penis.
