new york
A couple weeks ago, I was in New York, and I guess you could say I got a little “streetsmart.” That’s right, I learned something about the world. It was pretty cold while I was there, so most people were bundled up in coats, and each one of them taught me a valuable lesson: that people in coats are assholes. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the fabric or the fact that they’ve worked hard to lose 20 pounds and they’re frustrated that they can’t show off their slightly less gelatinous bodies to the unprepared world. Regardless, they are unfriendly, self-absorbed, and curt. It’s a fact. Don’t believe me?
Exhibit A:
Still not convinced? Exhibit B!
And if that wasn’t bad enough, they contribute nothing to society.
There you have it. I’ll leave you with a warning: burn your coats, or you could end up like these worthless slimeballs, drooling and soiling themselves like little babies.
